Penny, 6 days old[/caption]As Penny's first birthday quickly approaches, I have been spending a lot of time thinking about her 'growing up' and how some days it seems so far away, and others it seems like she already has. I know there is so much more for her to do and explore but it's hard not to look back on the very early days (if I can remember them through the haze of sleep deprivation and new parenthood) and feel like they went so fast. I sort of wish I knew then what I know now as a new, first time mom. Even though I felt overwhelmed and ill-equipped to handle this new little person. Even though those early days seemed so long. I wish I knew to stop, to soak it in. Even the scary parts. Because they are gone so quickly and in hindsight don't seem so scary. Ah, hindsight... I know you well.
To not be looking for the “next” – next nap, next feeding, next diaper change, next pump. But to be in and with the moment. Even if it was a hard moment. Because they go so fast. A facebook friend worded it well by posting "Parenthood: a lifetime of letting go". And the saying that always rings so true, "The days are long but the years are short".
The first milestones start coming quicker now, sitting up (check), crawling (check), pulling herself up to stand (check), walking, talking (yeah... check), teeth (check times 8). An unexpected blessing of the blog is that I stop and think about these milestones, probably more than I would if I wasn’t documenting them to this extent. I am glad I get those moments.
As for the smaller moments, not so much milestones, but snapshots, when it's just me and her, while she is nursing and I stroke her hair, or we are playing, her sitting in between my legs, her back to my chest and she just stops for a second to look up at me and smile. I write those down too, but I think they have an indelible spot in my mind and my heart.
Beautifully said, Les.
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